I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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