im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
