Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Randomize
