It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
