At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
