I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
