Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
