Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
