So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
