he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
