It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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