And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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