wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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