so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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