id be glad to
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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