she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
