your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
