sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
