just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
