yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
