shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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