I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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