Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
