At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
