I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
