Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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