He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
