READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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