Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I will pee on everything he values.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
