We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
