come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
