honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Found your dick twin last night
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
