Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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