My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
