No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
