So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
