Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
