I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
