Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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