Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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