I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
