it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
