omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
