last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
