there was a trapeze. enough said
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
