You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
