Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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