I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
