i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
