no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
