I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
