just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
